"Miss Jones, send a letter to the White House. Mr. President, watch out."

In case you were wondering, the above line is from the play I went to see last night. A full account of which will follow.

Nothing other than that really happened yesterday, so I'll skip straight to that.

I went with Emily, Beth, and Emily's mom, and we met Kyle and his dad at the theater. It was Riverside Youth Theater, I think, although I'm not sure. Anyway, Emily's boyfriend played J. Pierrepont Finch (F-I-N-C-H), who is the main character, so that's the main reason she was going, and she decided to invite a group of people to go, and we did.

Heh, I just realized that I never mentioned what the play was. It's How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying (hope that italics thing works here . . .) So that's what it was.

Anyway, me and Beth and Emily and her mom all met at Emily's house, then drove up to the theater. And you'll never guess what happened on the way up. I mean, never. It was just so . . . so . . . UNUSUAL that I can't believe it really happened. Yes. We got stuck in traffic. And here's the REALLY stupid thing: there was no reason for the backup at all. Allegedly there was an accident, but when we finally reached the end of the traffic jam, where it started to clear up, we were looking around, and we didn't see an accident, or road work, or ANYTHING but stupid people driving slowly. It was quite annoying. The best part of being stuck in traffic, though (if you can believe that there was a good part), was this truck next to us. They were roughly next to us for pretty much the whole thing, and they were funny. Obviously, they didn't really want to be there. and obviously they were really bored. There were two of them, both of them looked 16-18. They were just going totally crazy trying to entertain themselves. Like the driver one time just threw up his hands and shook them, and shook his head and went "bleaarghshighghghghghghgghghghgghgh" if you can imagine that sound. It was hilarious. The other guy did stuff like that, too, and they were doing it the whole time. It was great. And then, to make it even better, they really didn't know how to drive, so every time traffic would move forward, the truck would go "breeeeeeaw" (the sound of a lot of accelerating), and lurch very quickly forward, then "screeeeeee" (the sound of massive breaking) and stop. Sometimes it would lurch forward several times, going "breeaw screee breaw screeee breaw screee" and also you could hear the driver going "bleaaarghshighghghghgghghghghgghg" and their stereo blasting rock music at high volume, so it was like "DA NA DUN NA WLAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! DA NA DUN NA WLAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" All in all, it was very loud and very funny.

So finally we got out of the traffic jam, and we got to the theater about 5-10 minutes late, so we missed the very beginning of the play. But we were able to figure out what was going on pretty quickly. And it was hilarious. The story is that J. Pierrepont Finch (F-I-N-C-H, the main character, if you'll remember), who begins as a window-washer, gets this book, How to Succeed in Business, and he reads it and tries to climb the corporate ladder, "rung by painful rung," in the World Wide Wicket company. The story itself is pretty flat, but there's all kinds of funny stuff, so you don't really notice. And of course there's a romance between Ponty (J. Pierrepont Finch, F-I-N-C-H) and one of the secretaries. So that's kind of cheesy, but on the whole it's alright. And the play on the whole was fabulous. There were so many crazy things . . . like the book itself (which was a voice-over) was hilarious. Like this approximate quote from near the beginning: "You are now in the mail room. One thing you must keep in mind about the mail room: the mail room is a place out of which you must get."

So anyway, Ponty gets pretty much every promotion he wants when he wants it because of the techniques outlined in the book. And he excepts to go even faster than he's going: "I don't know, Rosemary, I feel like I'm not going anywhere. I mean, I don't even have my own office yet!" "Ponty, you've only worked here for two hours!" And by the end of his second day, Ponty has his office. And he just keeps going up and up and up until he gets to be Vice President of Advertising. The book: "By now, you are a Vice President. Congratulations. You are now in a very good position. Unless you are Vice President of Advertising. . . . There is one thing that can save you: you must get an idea. The best way to get a good idea is to steal someone else's." So of course Ponty does, and almost gets fired, but he hangs on by the skin of his teeth and makes it work. Then the idea doesn't work out, and catastrophe insues, and everyone blames him (although it really didn't seem to me that it was his fault). The book on his situation: "... If the catastrophe is your fault, we recommend that you review chapter 1 of this book: How to Apply for a Job." But Ponty goes and faces the head of the company, the head of Personell, and the Chairman of the Board, and he uses his awesome persuasive skills to his advantage: "[directed at the Chairman:] I realize you might want to fire us all, from Mr. Biggley all the way down to the mail room. But before you do that, I'd liket to say a few words." Chairman: "About what?" Ponty: "Humanity." Then they sing a big song, and in the end Ponty becomes Chairman of the board.

Meanwhile. Rosemary (his girlfriend) has been struggling with the fact that Ponty is putting his career before her, and that he's using the book. But in the end, she comes running up to him: "Ponty!" Ponty: "Rosemary! *hug* They made me the Chairman of the Board, I hope you don't mind." Rosemary: "Oh, Ponty, I don't care whether you're a window washer, or the Chairman of the board, or the President of the United States. I love you!" Ponty: *pauses and looks like he's getting an idea* "Say that again." Rosemary: *confused* "I love you." Ponty: "No, before that." Rosemary: "I don't care whether you're a window washer, or the Chairman of the board, or the President of the United States?" Ponty: *grins mischeviously* Mr. Biggely: [his boss] "Miss Jones, send a letter to the White House. Mr. President, watch out." And that's how it ends.

It was really good, and really funny. Especially since I knew the guy who played Ponty. It was really good.

So then I got home and went to bed at 11:30 (not too late for you college students, but to me, that's late for a Saturday night), and got up and went to Church, and now here I am. (I also messed around after we came back from Church, but I didn't think it was too worth mentioning.)

Now, to comments:

Stephen: ph, right? Not v? Anyway, yes, finals seem like a rather hectic time. And it's okay, I understand. At least you acknowledged my existence, that's more than some people do :P Yes, thank you for the books, my summer reading list doubled when I saw them . . . :) Sorry it's taking so long to read the other ones you gave me, they're kind of hard to get into since they aren't just one continuous (sp?) story.

Rae: Yeah . . . well, my dad has a PC, so I could just steal that, but I really don't know how to work it . . . :( I'll try that thing you were talking about . . . although I'm not sure if I fully understand it. But I think I do. And it's not like it's going to blow up my computer or anything if I'm wrong (I hope . . . ) Thanks for the help. I didn't follow most of the rest of it, but: Okay, thanks for the spelling tip; that's right, I forgot, sorry; Yay! I was right about something! We should have a celebration . . . it's just so unusual!!