The long-awaited next post, in all its 7-page glory

Well, well, well. It’s been almost a month since my last update, and waaay more since my last “log” update (as David calls them). I haven’t even written about Esther closing yet . . . *sigh* Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves. It’s gonna be a LOOOONG read.

I’ll split it up into the major events that have happened, to avoid “and then . . . uh . . . I don’t remember what happened . . .”

Event #1: Closing of Esther. On Saturday, November 14th, 2005, Esther closed at Lifehouse theater. It was weird. Because usually, we close on Sundays. But this was different, because the Musical Theater Camp (for younger kids) had its shows on Sunday, so Esther closed the day before. ‘Twas a sad time. You can imagine my sorrow when I went backstage after the scene and hung my little crappy flashlight airplane guidance thingies on the hook for the last time. Even remembering it brings a tear to my eye. Either that or my contact is bothering me.

Anyway, the terrible truth of closing was somewhat weakened by certain events after the final show. We were hanging out (waiting for rides and stuff) in the theater, and people were trying the zipline. It was rather amusing to watch the terrified looks on the faces of people as they went flying by. Although I knew that mine would’ve been far more terrified.

Then came the joyous moment. Anyone who has ever been in a show at Lifehouse who did not witness this will regret it forever. Kelsey had just gone down the zipline, and she handed the hand thingy to Larry, who said something to the general effect of “okay, who’s next?” That’s when it began. The chant. A curious spell seemed to have been cast on the . . . uh . . . cast (somehow that didn’t work). It started with a few . . . then the call grew and grew, until the building itself was pulsing with it. A single word, repeated over and over, with significance that non-Lifehousers cannot truly appreciate. “Wayne . . . Wayne . . . Wayne . . . Wayne . . .”

And he actually did it. Wayne R. Scott went down the zipline. Oh, frabjous day, callooh, callay! ‘Twas wonderful. ‘Twas glorious. ‘Twas one of those times when one though sticks out in the mind: “why, oh why, oh WHY do I not have a video camera?!”

And just to top off the glory of it all, Debra let me keep my airplane thingies because they were just crappy flashlights and construction paper. And let me tell you, those are CRAPPY flashlights. I hope my life never depends on them working.

Event #2: Thanksgiving week. Hard to believe that I haven’t written about this yet, but I haven’t. Well, my grandparents on my mother’s side came out to visit. Not a whole lot happened, really . . . we didn’t do anything exciting, we just kind of hung out until Thursday, which was the day itself. On this day, as was the custom, we went to Didi’s. And had loads of wonderful food. The only thing missing were Sandy’s world famous mashed potatoes . . . but alas. It was still good.

Actually, one thing did happen on Wednesday. I was talking to David online, and he suggested that we go catch an 11:45 showing of Harry Potter 4. I agreed. But by the time we got there, it was 11:55 or so, and we had missed it. It was also the last showing of the night, so the box office had closed. Sithspawn. So we went to Denny’s, instead, and just hung out (and ate . . . David had French toast with a syrup that tasted like peach-scented shampoo). We lost track of time. I opened my front door at about 5 AM. Mom was not happy.

Okay, sorry, back to Thursday. After dinner, of course, we had to have entertainment, so Dimyana sang a few songs (one with AJ accompanying, one with a CD), and AJ sang a few songs (with his guitar . . . very different type of songs). Then it was determined that all “children” there had to perform (“children” in quotations because AJ apparently qualified). Now, conveniently, Tracy was out picking up her friend. Dimyana and AJ had just performed. Why, that leaves . . . me. Joy.

Now, I hadn’t counted on doing anything. I’d done my Mark Twain act last year and had thought that that would cover me for a while. Apparently I was wrong. So they were trying to tell me to do something. Stand-up comedy came up. “Yeah, right,” was my reply. Then, Didi had a brainstorm. “You can do the tap-dance!” *siiiiiigh*

So, ten minutes later, there I was. All alone, doing a tap-dance meant for six people. In sneakers, doing a tap-dance meant to be done with tap shoes. Well, it went okay until I got to the roll-off. THAT was embarrassing. So there are supposed to be six people, right? And there’s only one. So I did my part of the roll-off, and realized “cran . . . I’m the only one here. Which means that now I get to stand here looking like an idiot for an 8-count. Yippee.” Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE looking like an idiot. On stage. In front of 200 people that I don’t know. NOT in a living room in front of 10 people that I DO know rather well.

ANYWAY, after that intense humiliation, we kind of just hung out for a while . . . Dimyana, AJ and I went and played The A-Maze-ing Labyrinth. Fun game. I won. Then Tracy and her friend Christina showed up and the five of us played Clue. Fun game. AJ won the first game, Christina one the second game, I won the third game.

Then came Friday. Since Thursday’s thanksgiving dinner had been rather . . . Bulgarian in nature, and thus untraditional, mom decided to have a more American-style dinner on Friday. She gave AJ permission to invite Jeff. I in turn received permission to invite David and Sarah. Which I did.

Jeff had said that he was going to be a bit late, so Mom wasn’t going to wait dinner for him. She DID, however, wait dinner for David, Sarah, and I (we all came together because I was at fencing with David). And then everyone was upset because we got there at 6:30, after being told it was supposed to start “around six.” Or maybe it was 5:30 and five. I can’t remember. Anyway, we were late. And they were mad at us.

Dinner was fun, and tasted good. Jeff showed up just as the rest of us were eating dessert. Him and David together in the same room . . . *intake of breath* it was a combination of two of the greatest comedic minds to ever come out of Redlands . . . very interesting conversation.

After dinner, I attempted to help Sarah figure out something in Fire Emblem (which is a video game I had loaned her). I failed. So we were messing around with it for a while.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that that morning I had somehow managed to rip my last pair of contacts, so I was wearing my old crooked glasses. I had trouble seeing. And they were uncomfortable. I didn’t have TERRIBLE trouble seeing, but I certainly couldn’t see very well.

Anyway, after messing with Fire Emblem for a while, I finally showed Sarah and David some Legendary Frog (if you haven’t seen anything on there, go here and go to movies). After that, David suggested that we go catch a 10:30 showing of Harry Potter 4. I agreed. AJ and Jeff, however, had seen it earlier that week and declined to go with us.

So David, Sarah, and I piled into the Davidmobile and went off to Krikorian. We made it in time for the showing. And we saw a preview for what will certainly be the greatest movie of all time: Happy Feet. I mean, what could be better then two hours of animated penguins dancing?! I can’t wait . . .

But eventually I was forced to move on to Harry Potter 4. Which I will not review (because there’s another movie I want to review, and I don’t want to do two reviews in one entry), but which was very good. Then David brought me home, and I went to bed.

The next exciting thing was seeing Miracle on 34th Street at Lifehouse on Sunday. Wonderfully acted, but had rather weak material. And a forced Christian message if I’ve ever heard one (and Santa’s an angel! . . . no, I mean literally).

Event #3: A shorter one. I got into Cinderella! Yay! Rehearsals have started. I’m a footman. A certain mouse turns into me. *sob sob* That mouse happens to be Taylor. *sob sob sob WEEP WEEP*

Event #4: New glasses and contacts. See title. But my glasses are the coolest things ever. They’re called Flexon, and if you bend them, they’ll just POP BACK INTO PLACE!!!! So no matter how many times I get hit in the face with a football, they WON’T BREAK, AND THEY WON’T GET CROOKED!!! *ahem* Not like that’s ever happened to me before, but, uh . . . gotta be prepared, you know . . .

Event #5: Skipping ahead a bit. December 11th, 2005. ‘Tis a Sunday. I show up at Lifehouse at 7:00 PM. I see David walking up the sidewalk towards me. I greet him. We enter the building. Minutes later, Rachel walks in the door. We get tickets. We hang out. We go outside of the building and start looking at the footprints and handprints. Bonnie joins us. We hang out some more. We go inside, and Bonnie gets her ticket. We hang out some MORE, and David forever etches himself into Bonnie’s memory (“I’m freeeeee . . .”). We are finally allowed to go to our seats. We do, and we look at the program and stuff. I look around. Jay has long hair all of a sudden. It freaks me out.

The lights go down. The first strains of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” play through the crappy sound system. The Broadway Expressions Christmas ’05 Dance Recital has begun! As the previous one (which happened in August, I wrote about it, you can dig through the archives and find it, you lazy bums), it was amazing. Before we get into a more detailed look at it, let’s take some random thoughts that came out of it:

1) I hate Michael.
2) Carly is such a sithin’ good singer. It’s not fair. I hate her, too.
3) I hate Michael. Grr.
4) Grr . . . Megan is also an incredibly good singer. I hate her, too.
5) ACK!! THESE PEOPLE ARE TOO GOOD!! I HATE THEM ALL!!!!

Now, in case you’re wondering why I hate Michael . . . it’s because he’s sithin’ younger than I am, and he’s such an incredible dancer and singer. Pretty much the same reason I hate everyone else, only Michael is a guy who’s younger than me, so theoretically I should be able to do what he does. Gr.

But, all hatred aside, the recital was really, really good. It was about on par with the August one, in general, as far as the dancing and singing was concerned. So it was very good, but expectedly good.

There were, however, two things that raised the bar from the previous time. In the August recital, there was a brief little tap number which basically consisted of Aaron and Michael imitating one another. This time they had a full-fledged tap class that did a number. I always love watching tap dances, because I can actually pick out what they’re doing, unlike most types of dance. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and after it happened I knew that it was going to be my favorite part.

I was wrong. As awesome as the tap was, they were able to out-do it. The second thing (which they might’ve done in August, but I don’t remember it if they did) was called “Team Broadway.” They had two of them, but I only knew two people in the first (younger) one, and they did Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat, which I’ve never seen.

The second, older one, however, I knew almost everyone in it and they did Les Misrables. And I can describe it in two words: holy cran. I know that probably all this stuff I’m saying sounds forced because I keep saying it, but . . . this was just so incredible. It was during this that I determined that I hate Carly and Megan. Carly did a solo that Cosette (or however the heck you spell it) does, and . . . my goodness that girl has a voice. At the August recital, she had a vocal solo, and the thought going through my head was “man, I knew she was good, but this is amazing.” The thought going through my head for this was “she was good in the August one, but this is amazing.”

And a quick question to ask all of you. Why do I keep going back to the August one? Like, I mean obviously it’s the easiest thing to compare this to, but . . . I don’t know. I guess my mind is just working weirdly. I’m tired. It’s late. I’m also just me.

Okay, back to business. Megan did Eponine’s song, and I hate her. I hate her hate her hate her. I can’t decide whether she or Carly was better. It’s not fair . . . all these dratted talented people . . . ah, well. At least I don’t have to worry about them stealing any of my parts . . . ahh, the joys of being a guy.

Oh, wait . . . Michael . . . sithspawn.

*ahem* I apologize, folks, this is sounding more like a ranting xanga entry (for examples, go here) than a blog entry. Perhaps it’s because it’s late and I just read an entry on that site. But seriously, it was really good. I was impressed anew with these people.

Event #6: Lots of loud people I don’t know. A few weeks before December 17th, a conversation very similar to this one took place at my mother’s work place:
Random Nurse: We don’t have anywhere to have this floor’s Christmas party this year . . .
Mom: Well, if no one else will have it, I can . . .
Random Nurse: Cool! Christmas Party at Roberta’s!

And so it was, on the 17th. I was given the job of photographer. It was supposed to start at one o’clock, so at one I was all dressed up and ready to go take photos. But no one was there. Actually, no one showed up until 3. And then it was a lady with her 5-year-old son. Mom volunteered me to play videogames with him to keep him occupied.

From that moment on, I was the unofficial childcare person. 5-year-old’s name was Andrew, and he liked to talk. “This is why I get the star? So I WIN??” For about four hours. I was playing a game with him that requires the player to shoot water at this mud stuff. He couldn’t grasp the concept that you had to be pointing the water AT the mud in order to get it to go away. *sigh* He also couldn’t grasp that when I told him to “turn around” so he was facing the mud, I meant a 180 turn, not a 360 turn. It was not fun.

Then finally he left. There was another girl there at that time, but she was nine and occupied herself on the computer. I stole upstairs to massage my ears and stop hearing “That’s how I WIN??” I enjoyed myself for a while, then there was a knock on my door. It was the nine-year-old, asking my help to print out something. I was rather surprised that she couldn’t figure it out for herself, but I kind of shrugged and agreed. I went down, only to find that the computer screen had a gigantic “PRINT THIS PAGE” written across it. And she said “how do you print this out?” *siiiiiigh*

Then I went back upstairs for a while. Shortly thereafter I came down and actually took a few pictures. Then I met Daniel, a 3-year-old. VERY hyper. VERY curious.

“What’s this? Who’s that? Can you do this? Can you draw a fish? Can you draw a bird? Can you draw a bird inside a fish? Can you draw a house for the bird? Can you read this book? Come over here. Sit here. Sit here and read this book. Who’s that? Can I do this? Give me straws. What’s this? Who’s that? Can you do this? Can you . . .”

Eventually he contended himself with walking up and down the stairs. His father then asked me if he could play his CD. I said “uh . . . sure.” He did. I discovered that he was Romanian. So I got to witness some Romanian dancing.

It was actually quite enjoyable to watch. It was also funny to see them next to an American (I think) couple, who was also dancing, but who obviously had no idea whatsoever what they were doing. Like, I’m certainly not the best partner dancer in the world, but . . . I’d like to think I’m better than that guy. (And if any of you so much as THINKS the name “Taylor,” you will die.)

Then eventually they, too left. No one was left. The word “free” popped into my mind. I checked my watch. 9:30. With the exception of about an hour or so when I was upstairs, I’d been doing childcare off and on for about six hours.

I’m thinking twice about having kids.

But on the bright side, mom paid me for my services. And we got a lot of good food that was left over. Buffalo wings rock. As do cookies.

Event #7: Narnia is a land of fun . . . December 18th, 2005. 12:45 PM. Krikorian Theater. A 15-year-old gets out of the car, waves farewell to his father, and starts walking up to the door, where he meets Rachel. The two enter the theater, then spot the group of Lifehousers in line. They join them. After much waiting, they enter the theater. After much more waiting, the lights go off. And everyone is transported to WWII England.

I have officially seen The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I can describe my initial reaction to the movie in seven words: move over, Peter Jackson. You’ve got company. I know I said I’d review this, but I’m actually kinda strapped for time, so it’ll be brief.

The acting was awesome. All four kids were great (although Edmund was no Lucas . . .). Aslan was Liam Neeson, ‘nuff said. The White Witch was totally sithin’ amazing. She wasn’t as attractive as she should’ve been, but her awesome acting made up for it. All the animals were very good. And of course, most important of all, Mr. Tumnus was very good.

I was very impressed with the movie on the whole. They didn’t tone down the Christian message at all, which was very refreshing. As I said, the acting was awesome. The music was awesome. The animal animations were awesome. And, best of all, the Witch has sithin’ POLAR BEARS pulling her sleigh in the big climactic battle.

Movie gets 4 ½ out of 5 stars. In fact, just the way that they did Tumnus made the movie that good for me. And he had an awesome scarf on through the whole thing. And at Cinderella rehearsal a few days later, Rachel gave me my Christmas present . . . a scarf. Just like the one he wears. It made me very happy. I have decided to wear it everywhere.

I had a few minor problems with the movie, but nothing major . . . things like, Lucy wasn’t a blonde, the Witch wasn’t attractive enough, stuff like that. There were two slightly bigger things that were problems, too: 1) Tumnus was not turned to stone as soon as he was captured. But I can deal with that.

Then there was my biggest problem with the movie: the Professor. Until the very last scene, he wasn’t the character he should’ve been. He wasn’t the kind, clever, caring, jolly old fella that he is in the book. He was a kind of creepy, detached, older, not-as-nice guy. Except for the very end. Which, by the way, was the perfect ending. If only the Professor had been like that through the whole movie . . . ah, well, alas. I have that one perfect scene to cherish forever.

So that’s pretty much my life since my last update. Except for two things: 1) Christmas break has started — YESS!!!!!! 2) Last night, I was talking to a friend online, and she was doing homework. Math homework. She asked me how to do something, and I actually KNEW!!!! It was unbelievable. I shall never forget it (because it’s published online).

So this entry should give you something to chow down on for a while . . . but I’ll be getting another post out next week, around New Year’s. I intend to do a Death Star Year-in-Review. Look forward to it.