Sunday, Sweaty Sunday

Here it is, Sunday yet again. And here I am, updating, yet again.

The past week can really be summed up in one word: “AAAAAAHHHH!!!!” This is easily the craziest week I’ve had since last year’s debate boot camp, and probably even crazier than that because it’s SO FREAKIN’ HOT OUTSIDE. If anyone from out-of-state ever comes up to me and says, “Man, I wish I lived here, the weather is so nice all the time,” I’m going to slap them in the face.

Perhaps I’m just strange . . . but why can’t it be cold every now and then? I mean, yeah, it gets chilly in the winter . . . and THAT’S when everyone talks about how wonderful the weather is out here . . . *sigh* But alas for summer. Shel Silverstein once wrote a poem that applies to my life right now, and I’ll quote it for you later when I get there.

But first, we should go in order. Last Sunday first. We had church as always, although it was a pretty small group. We began our summer study of Psalms, and Dad began it with an overview of Hebrew poetry and then a study on Psalm 1. At the end, Dad decided that he wanted to fuse Hebrew poetry and English poetry, so he cruelly made us all write, not just poems, but limericks based on Psalm 1. It was pretty crazy . . . I’ll spare you all the trouble of having to read them here, but it was crazy. It’s pretty hard to write a limerick at the drop of a hat, you know . . . you’d be surprised.

Anyway, after church there was a lot of just hanging around and writing blog entries. But eventually it was around 6:30 or so, and it was time to actually do something. Aaron, Megan, and John (in that order) had all told me the previous night at Tom Sawyer that I should come to a Shakespeare Showcase thingy they were doing at the Redlands Police Station that night at 7. I figured I might as well, since I had nothing better to do, and it was Shakespeare.

So I showed up at the Redlands Police Station at about 6:45 or so. To my confusion, there didn’t seem to be anyone around. I looked about, and Rachel showed up and I talked to her for a while, but we couldn’t find anyone. In the end, confused and saddened, we went home (I had tried calling Megan, but her phone, of course, was off).

In the end, I ended up getting my Shakespeare in that night anyway. Just in a slightly . . . um . . . different way. We had gotten a movie version of Hamlet from Netflix a short while ago, and decided we might as well watch it. But this wasn’t just any movie version of Hamlet. No, this was the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of Hamlet, which is at the same time undoubtedly the worst and the best version.

“Horatio . . . you’re standing on my foot . . .”
“I—I’m so frightened!” “Of what?” “. . . your hair!”
“Get thee to a bakery! Wait, no . . .”
“‘To be or not to be:’ the verbal equivalent of ‘Dun dun DUNN!!’”

I could go on, but I wouldn’t want to ruin it for those of you who have yet to see it. After it was over, I called Megan again, and her phone was on but she didn’t answer, so I left her a message. She called me about half an hour later, apologizing profusely. As it turns out, there’s a difference between the Police STATION and the Police DEPARTMENT . . .

Anyway, on to Monday. On Monday, everyone’s favorite canine friend was due for a trip to the vet. This, as always, resulted in major pain for me. Jersey gets a bit excited when he’s in the car, and since I’m the one not in the driver’s seat, he gets to sit on my lap. And stand, and jump, and shiver, and run around, and rip the skin from my knees.

I’m usually in a fairly foul temper by the time we reach the vet, and this was no exception. Mom picked Jersey up and took him out of the car, then set him down on the ground so I could get out. When I exited the car, she was brushing her shirt off, muttering something like, “I hate getting dog hair all over me.” I scowled bitterly and gestured to my navy-blue shirt. Or at least, what used to be my navy-blue shirt, but was now my white, furry shirt.

We went into the vet and waited in line for a while, then waited in the waiting room for a while, then waited in the doctor’s room for a while, then finally the nurse came in. Eventually, it was all over, and Jersey was proclaimed in great health. Perfect health, in fact, for ripping up my knees again on the way home.

At this point, I was in a very bad mood, and the fact that I was tired from getting up early (at least for me) to take him to the vet wasn’t helping. Things brightened a few hours later, though, when I went with David and Seth to see Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Chest. A lot of people seem to not like this movie, but I don’t see why. I personally thought it was a rocking awesome movie, and it has one of my favorite individual shots of all time.

Johnny Depp was amazing as always, and my belief that neither Orlando Bloom nor Keira Knightly are that good was strengthened. But that’s okay, because no one cares about Will and Elizabeth anyway. But I really liked the story, especially the ending . . . most people seem to despise the ending, because it’s a cliffhanger of sorts, but it made me very happy. The only thing I didn’t like about it was that it was a lot darker and a lot less funny than the first one. It did, however, have a couple of really good lines, my favorite probably being:

“Check this out.” *Bang* “There. An undead monkey. Beat that.”

And I’m almost positive I saw Dustin, too, which made me really happy. For those of you who might not know, Dustin is a Lifehouse guy (he directs and choreographs mostly), and he directed Esther and is choreographing and co-directing Beauty and the Beast at the Bowl. He’s an awesome guy, and is amazingly talented. He made the final cut for a main part in the movie (I’m not sure which), but he ended up just getting an extra.

After the movie, I ran (literally) over to the Bowl for rehearsal, my mom bringing me food and supplies for the night. It was our first dress rehearsal, although the villagers (such as me) didn’t have to wear costumes until Wednesday, which was cool. Most of the enchanted object costumes are really cool . . . at least to see. I really like the Beast costume, too.

Other than that, not much to report from Monday other than oppressive heat. But it wasn’t too bad. Not unbearable, anyway.

Then came Tuesday. Tuesday morning. Much earlier than I usually am conscious. A morning cursed by the fates to forever bear the name, “Driver’s Education: Day 1.” This is the primary reason for the business of this week. Every morning, I would wake up way too early, get ready, then go pick up Sarah, then go to Economy West and sit there for 6 hours or so learning about cars and laws and how to break them.

A word of sage advice for . . . uh . . . well, for Megan, I guess, since she’s the only one who reads this who’s younger than me (and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t read it consistently, anyway, but hey): when you take Driver’s Ed, take it with someone. I would’ve DIED had Sarah not been there. Just random wry comments about stupid phrasing, stupid policemen on the videos, and sadistic bus drivers served to make the day bearable. And, of course, having someone to eat lunch with was really nice, too.

And for the record: maybe I’m just cynical, but I really didn’t find Red Asphalt to be all that it was made out to be. Everyone always talks about how terrible it is, and how they wanted to throw up and run out of the room, and stuff like that, but . . . I was perfectly fine. I mean, yeah, it was gross, but other than that one dude who got his head smashed into two pieces it wasn’t THAT bad. The worst part of it was actually the narrator:

“You drink and drive, you die. You take drugs and drive, you die. You don’t wear a safety belt, you die. I don’t like you, you die.”

Okay, that last one was Sarah, but the other three is a direct quote from the video. He was really annoying. But not as annoying as the Wyoming Highway Patrol guy on the other video:

“It’s nice to be right, but you don’t want to be . . . DEAD right. In the end, it’s not a question of who’s right, it’s a question of who’s . . . LEFT.”

That one is completely a direct quote. It’s sad, really. But yeah, that’s Driver’s Ed . . . majorly boring stuff. That went on from Tuesday until Friday. We also had rehearsals every night . . . dress rehearsals, mostly. Nothing really spectacular other than my (and probably Sarah’s) level of fatigue by the end of them.

Then came Saturday. I was rejoicing in the fact that Driver’s Ed was over . . . that now I can get my permit (yay! . . . haven’t gotten it yet, but probably this week). I got up and had a nice pancake breakfast courtesy of Mom, then hung around until it was time to head over to Lifehouse to see Tom Sawyer one last time. As always, it was awesome. Afterwards, I went to Chipotlé with Mom and Dad, then to the Bowl.

If there is a single worst rehearsal experience I’ve ever had, it’s Saturday night. We had the set for the first time, which was really nice (and we did really well), but it was so hot that it was almost unbearable . . . it was 109º when we started rehearsal. When we got out, at 11:11 PM, it was still 89º. This alone would be bad enough, having to be outside. But add to that the craziness of the show (or at least of “Gaston”), and the fact that it was a dress rehearsal, it was crazy.

Add to THAT the fact that I ran out of water and got majorly dehydrated and majorly tired, and it wasn’t that great an experience. I will now pause for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. This is what I felt like last night:

It’s Hot! By Shel Silverstein
It’s hot!
I can’t get cool,
I’ve drunk a quart of lemonade.
I think I’ll take my shoes off
And sit around in the shade.

It’s hot!
My back is sticky,
The sweat rolls down my chin.
I think I’ll take my clothes off
And sit around in my skin.

It’s hot!
I’ve tried with ‘lectric fans,
And pools and ice cream cones.
I think I’ll take my skin off
And sit around in my bones.

It’s still hot!


Okay, so not EXACTLY, but that’s pretty much what it was like last night. It was absolutely ridiculous.

And that brings you back up to date. So all y’all better come see Beauty and the Beast, it runs this week only! So come on down and see this incredible show! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go prepare for yet another rehearsal . . .

Comments:
AJ: Websites that publish the post twice when I only hit the button once are lame.

Megan: 4 posts? Wow . . . you must’ve been really bored . . . And that’s right, you did, my mistake . . . but you said hi before that, and then moved on to other things and didn’t come back to me for a while. So I guess I forgot.

Eleanor: ELEANOR!! Welcome back! All of us here at the Death Star are proud to welcome you back into our readership. And in Beauty and the Beast, I AM supposed to be French . . . *sees potential excuse* And . . . since you’d better come see it, hopefully next week some time :-D

My blog, my blog, I have not forsaken thee!

So yes . . . my apologies that it’s taken so long. The whole time/mood thing has been stalling me again. But not a whole lot has really happened in the last four weeks, so we’re going to split this up into events like I’ve done before.

Event #1: Wayne is lame. So the Saturday after my return from the Train Station was opening night of Tom Sawyer at Lifehouse. My good friend Preston happens to be playing the title role, and another of my friends is playing Huck Finn, and a number of my other friends are in it in one way or another. That, on top of the fact that Rachel is moving soon and I want to spend as much time with her as possible, made me decide to go to opening.

The night started with Rachel being about half an hour late picking me up, which kind of scared me, since the office had threatened to take away our tickets if we weren’t there fifteen minutes before the start of the show. Thankfully, we got there right at 7:15, and got our tickets and went into the theater, where the pre-show band was already playing.

The best part about the pre-show band (other than Diana being the lead singer) was that Josh had a sort of Amish beard on to disguise him (the character he played would probably not be the sort of fellow who would play in a jug band). It was hilarious. To add to the humor of it, Peter actually wore the same beard later on during the actual show.

Anyway, the show was really good . . . much better than it was last time. If I didn’t know Preston, it probably wouldn’t have been QUITE as good . . . parts of it wouldn’t have been as funny (same with Megan, actually . . . seeing her fawn over Preston wouldn’t have been nearly as amusing if I hadn’t known both of them). I’d say almost every character was better this time around . . . except probably Mark Twain, but that’s just because they cut a lot of his stuff out and turned it into voice-overs. Oh, and Ben Rodgers . . . but Zach played that last time, so that almost goes without saying. But the one that really surprised me was the villain, Injun Joe. He was played last time by a guy who was commonly held at the time to be the single best villain-actor Lifehouse had. But the guy who played Injun Joe this time . . . I mean, I know him, and I know he’s really good, so I guess I should’ve figured he’d be better, but . . . yeah, I was really impressed.

Anyway, that’s that. The Wayne being lame part came about twenty minutes into the show, when one of my personal favorite scenes in all of Lifehouse came up: the white-washing scene. The beginning of the song “Whitewashin’” is a parody of the Queen song “Bicycle.” Last time (which was the first time) we did this show, when I was in it, they cut that part of the song out because some people found it offensive, being a Queen song and all. This time, they left it in. Which was awesome, of course, but lame because they didn’t let us do it. So Wayne was lame.

Event #1.5: Denny’s is lame. After the show, Rachel and I being Rachel and I, we invited ourselves to join the cast at their opening night celebration at Denny’s. Carly was nice and transported us there with Katrina and Caroline, and Carly was very excited about getting an Oreo Milkshake. So excited that she asked everyone who came through the door, “Guess what kind of milkshake I’m getting?!”

Eventually we got to our tables and sat down. I was next to Rachel, of course, with Mrs. Emert on my other side, and Mr. Ware beyond her. Across from me were Carrie, Hannah, and Preston. Lots of fun times . . . the creation of “Face Cake,” reciting the first half of the Weird Al song “Albuquerque” with Hannah, the “Preston Suit,” Caroline NOT looking like R2-D2 . . . fun times.

I was one of the first people to order, but it took them FOREVER to bring out my order. I ordered cheese fries, too, so it’s not like they had to take ages and ages to cook a burger or anything. Megan ordered the same thing, several minutes after I did, and she got hers way before. I was upset. It was lame. And when it came, it wasn’t even that good . . . the fries were all rubbery and stuff, like they’d been sitting back there all day . . . which they probably had. But to that I say: if they were sitting back there all day, why the crap did it take them so freakin’ long to bring it out??

Anyway, Rachel and I eventually went out front to wait for her mom to come and take us home. We sat there and talked to Jimmy (who had also come to the show and invited himself to Denny’s), who told us his woes of playing Conrad Birdie in “Bye Bye Birdie” at his church . . . poor fellow. Those lower back pains are killer.

Event #2: My friends are NOT lame. The next day, David, Carly, and Katrina all came to my church. We had more fun times . . . although I felt kinda bad because I left the VHs all by themselves . . . but what could I do? I had friends there, and the table would hold all of us . . . so yeah. It was fun. We were talking about children and parents and their responsibilities to one another . . . Carly was kind of out of it and tired for the first half of the study, but she woke right up as soon as Dad started talking about mistakes that parents make. It was quite amusing.

After church, as always, Kelsey came up to me and said, “Can we go up to your room? Can we go up to your room??” I have NO clue why she finds my room so entertaining, but she asks me every week if we can go up . . . anyway, this week it was special because it got the best reaction I’ve ever gotten to that question: Carly saying, “You have a ROOM?? That’s AWESOME!!! Can I see it??” So we went up and looked at all my Lifehouse pictures hanging on the wall. Then Carly and Katrina had to leave, to get to Lifehouse and all that, although David stayed and talked to us for a while, then left when his family called him angrily, asking where he was.

Event #3: Sarah is NOT lame. The next Sunday, Sarah came to my church. As a result of this, I was accused (or so I’m told, I wasn’t there) by Megan of having a cult designed to draw people away from BOB. But anyway, Sarah came, and she enjoyed it . . . although the chairs gave her a bruise. Our chairs aren’t very nice.

After church, Sarah and I went over to Seth’s house and hung out and played SSBM all afternoon. It was a lot of fun. It actually was cut short because David and I had to practice for Event #4. But it was a lot of fun.

Event #4: David and I are almost lame . . . literally. So, due to David’s and my incredible physique and muscular prowess (or maybe the fact that we take a stage combat class and we’re her friends), Didi asked us to do a fight demonstration for two of her camps, one at the U of R, and one at Lifehouse. We did our half of the fight we did for the Broadway Expressions recital, plus a few other, more basic things . . . we did Around the World (a basic sword routine) really fast, and got quite a reaction . . . and we talked about flips and swords and knives . . . and showed them the awesome shirt-knife disarm that Josh invented a long time ago.

It was a lot of fun, but of course you always gotta have a few trouble kids . . . there was a young gentlemen in the U of R camp who raised his hand to ask a question, and when David called on him, he said, “Yeah, so speaking of swords, I was playing [Dungeons and Dragons] this one time, and I tried to throw a sword at the bad guy, and I ended up hurting myself, and he tried to throw . . . I don’t remember what he tried to throw, but it ended up killing one of his own guys. *laughs hysterically*” And the Lifehouse group was like the quietest camp I’ve ever seen . . . they had, like, two questions out of all thirty kids . . . it was crazy . . . no D&D stories, though, so it wasn’t all that bad.

I also did my Mark Twain thing for the Lifehouse camp, which was okay. They were a pretty tough crowd . . . if my eyebrow hadn’t fallen off halfway through, I wouldn’t have gotten any laughs at all. So remember, all you theater people: spirit gum is underrated. Medical tape doesn’t work nearly as well. Moe is also underrated. Because without her, I never would’ve gotten my wig on over all of my hair . . . but Moe was nice enough to pin my hair up for me so that the wig would fit over it. Yay Moe.

Event #5: The audience at the Bowl is lame. That very same day (Tuesday), there was a happening at the Bowl, as there always is on Tuesdays. Wayne had given the B&B cast off for the night, and David was going to the Bowl Happening with people, so I went along. The group was made up of David and me, Rachel, Carly, Katrina, and Megan. We brought bread and cheese and strawberries and sugar to eat instead of dinner, which we did.

At one point, Megan, Carly, and Rachel all went back to Megan’s house for juice (she lives about a five minute walk from the Bowl), and David went to buy more bread, so Katrina and I were sitting there alone. We were kind of grasping at strands of conversation for a while, then we heard a buzzing and decided that God was calling someone on their cell phone and enhancing the sound of the vibration so they’d be sure to notice. Not really sure where that came from, but it was cool.

It also became apparent that people should be careful when they make jokes, because you never know when one’s going to actually be true. For example, we always were kidding around with Carly about her “Winterfresh addiction,” because she chews it all the time. But now, after a trip to the dentist’s office, it apparently has had adverse effects on her: she has TMJ from chewing Winterfresh. So she was told by her dentist to stop chewing it. And in attempting to do this, she discovered that she is, in fact, addicted to it. It’s a tragic turn of events, and we all wish Carly well in her endeavor. I saw her last night, and she said that she’s down to a piece a day or so, which is considerable improvement (she had a pack-a-day habit before).

Anyway, the Bowl Happening was the winners of the RCMA Young Artist competition. They were all very good; my favorite was the flautist, while pretty much everyone else liked the violinist, who was amazing because he’s only like 10. But I still liked the flautist.

But the best part (and the part where the audience was lame) was in-between the musicians. Tim was the head stage-crew person, and Drew was his assistant. So every time they came out to change something, the six of us burst into wild cheering and applause, resulting in the first time I’ve ever successfully cracked the stage crew of a show. But the rest of the audience never joined in with us, which was lame.

Event #6: Josh continues to be lame. That Saturday, David and I volunteered at Tom Sawyer, and saw it again. (We also met Megan’s friend Sheena, who was also volunteering, and aside from having a freakin’ awesome name, she seemed really cool.) It was just as good as the first time, although they changed something that I didn’t really like (the scene in the beginning that happens twice, they changed it so that the second time is different, which bugged me). But we were in the front row this time, so we were much closer to the action.

Josh was lame because he still didn’t do a Southern accent (even though he was probably told not to), because he’d been bragging before about how well he could do a Southern accent. He was also lame because he didn’t burst out laughing in the middle of his scene, despite David sitting in the front row (and, I assume, trying to crack him).

Event #7: Sarah still isn’t lame. The next day, Sarah came to our church again. She’d come the last two weeks because the person she usually baby-sits at Trinity was in Chicago, so now, alas, she can’t come again for a while. But ah well. Anyway, she came again, and seemed to enjoy it again. AJ was also there this time, although he didn’t lead worship.

After church, Sarah and I again went to Seth’s and hung out, this time with Indy as well. There was company, celebrating Mr. Martin’s birthday, and also those of his mother and brother. This was also fun, because we got to hang out for pretty much the whole day. Fun times.

Event #8: My dad isn’t lame, either. Sunday just happened to also be my father’s birthday. More fun times there . . . after I came back from Seth’s, we ate cheesecake and Dad opened his presents. Mostly uninteresting stuff (to me, anyway). But yes. My present to him was actually still in the mail, so he didn’t get it until Thursday or so . . . but he seemed to like it when he did get it, so it was all good.

Event #9: My hair is lame. Okay, so Mom decided that I needed to get my hair cut. However, we were forbidden by Wayne and Sally of the Redlands Bowl to get our hair cut during the show, which means that I was breaking the rules. So I didn’t get the back cut, because that’s a lot more noticeable. But what happened was, they just cut the front, and they cut it shorter than I wanted it (although at the length Mom wanted it). I don’t really like it as it is, unfortunately, although I liked it before it got cut . . .

Event #10: Event titles with the word “lame” in them are lame. Because I can’t think of one for this last event. Last night, I went to see Tom Sawyer yet again with Rachel. She was late, so I spent a while talking to Aaron and Andrea before she got there. Eventually she DID show up, sunburned to a crisp and in serious pain. As a result of this, she winced when people hugged her, which was really sad.

Anyway, the show was great again, no surprise there. Rachel and I broke the rules and went backstage at intermission (because quite frankly, no one cares, except maybe Steve). Preston informed me that he was quitting life, Evan informed that I was a pokeable person (he actually knew my name, which surprised me, since I don’t think I’ve ever actually officially met him). In response to Event #9, Megan came up to me and, without even saying hi, asked me, “Why do you have a mullet?” *siiiiiiigh* The really sad part is, I can’t even deny it anymore . . . before, I didn’t really have one (despite what David will tell you), because it was long in the front, too, but not anymore. Alas.

And there you have it. My life for the past month. Let’s end with the following quote from Carly: “I LOVE the pie-eating contest!!!!”

Comments:

AJ: I WAS smiling . . . just not very much. And there is no such thing as a flattering picture of me. It just doesn’t work. And yeah . . . I completely forgot to mention Red. Alas. And I didn’t think I had to put a link in, since there’s a link to your blog on the side of the page anyway.

Rae: A comedy sports battle? What’s that? . . . And as I recall, you lost in the only game you played that night, so I wouldn’t be a’braggin’ about your R-P-S-I skills until you can prove them. >:-D

David: I’ve already responded to ALL of this comment in person, but for the value of other illiterate folks who may not know . . . “Momma in her kerchief and I in my cap” is a line from “The Night Before Christmas.” And forgive my lack of knowledge of the Eastern part of the world . . . but pretty much every oriental movie I’ve heard of has Chinese actors in it, whether it’s supposedly Chinese or Japanese.

My blog, my blog, I have not forsaken thee!

So yes . . . my apologies that it’s taken so long. The whole time/mood thing has been stalling me again. But not a whole lot has really happened in the last four weeks, so we’re going to split this up into events like I’ve done before.

Event #1: Wayne is lame. So the Saturday after my return from the Train Station was opening night of Tom Sawyer at Lifehouse. My good friend Preston happens to be playing the title role, and another of my friends is playing Huck Finn, and a number of my other friends are in it in one way or another. That, on top of the fact that Rachel is moving soon and I want to spend as much time with her as possible, made me decide to go to opening.

The night started with Rachel being about half an hour late picking me up, which kind of scared me, since the office had threatened to take away our tickets if we weren’t there fifteen minutes before the start of the show. Thankfully, we got there right at 7:15, and got our tickets and went into the theater, where the pre-show band was already playing.

The best part about the pre-show band (other than Diana being the lead singer) was that Josh had a sort of Amish beard on to disguise him (the character he played would probably not be the sort of fellow who would play in a jug band). It was hilarious. To add to the humor of it, Peter actually wore the same beard later on during the actual show.

Anyway, the show was really good . . . much better than it was last time. If I didn’t know Preston, it probably wouldn’t have been QUITE as good . . . parts of it wouldn’t have been as funny (same with Megan, actually . . . seeing her fawn over Preston wouldn’t have been nearly as amusing if I hadn’t known both of them). I’d say almost every character was better this time around . . . except probably Mark Twain, but that’s just because they cut a lot of his stuff out and turned it into voice-overs. Oh, and Ben Rodgers . . . but Zach played that last time, so that almost goes without saying. But the one that really surprised me was the villain, Injun Joe. He was played last time by a guy who was commonly held at the time to be the single best villain-actor Lifehouse had. But the guy who played Injun Joe this time . . . I mean, I know him, and I know he’s really good, so I guess I should’ve figured he’d be better, but . . . yeah, I was really impressed.

Anyway, that’s that. The Wayne being lame part came about twenty minutes into the show, when one of my personal favorite scenes in all of Lifehouse came up: the white-washing scene. The beginning of the song “Whitewashin’” is a parody of the Queen song “Bicycle.” Last time (which was the first time) we did this show, when I was in it, they cut that part of the song out because some people found it offensive, being a Queen song and all. This time, they left it in. Which was awesome, of course, but lame because they didn’t let us do it. So Wayne was lame.

Event #1.5: Denny’s is lame. After the show, Rachel and I being Rachel and I, we invited ourselves to join the cast at their opening night celebration at Denny’s. Carly was nice and transported us there with Katrina and Caroline, and Carly was very excited about getting an Oreo Milkshake. So excited that she asked everyone who came through the door, “Guess what kind of milkshake I’m getting?!”

Eventually we got to our tables and sat down. I was next to Rachel, of course, with Mrs. Emert on my other side, and Mr. Ware beyond her. Across from me were Carrie, Hannah, and Preston. Lots of fun times . . . the creation of “Face Cake,” reciting the first half of the Weird Al song “Albuquerque” with Hannah, the “Preston Suit,” Caroline NOT looking like R2-D2 . . . fun times.

I was one of the first people to order, but it took them FOREVER to bring out my order. I ordered cheese fries, too, so it’s not like they had to take ages and ages to cook a burger or anything. Megan ordered the same thing, several minutes after I did, and she got hers way before. I was upset. It was lame. And when it came, it wasn’t even that good . . . the fries were all rubbery and stuff, like they’d been sitting back there all day . . . which they probably had. But to that I say: if they were sitting back there all day, why the crap did it take them so freakin’ long to bring it out??

Anyway, Rachel and I eventually went out front to wait for her mom to come and take us home. We sat there and talked to Jimmy (who had also come to the show and invited himself to Denny’s), who told us his woes of playing Conrad Birdie in “Bye Bye Birdie” at his church . . . poor fellow. Those lower back pains are killer.

Event #2: My friends are NOT lame. The next day, David, Carly, and Katrina all came to my church. We had more fun times . . . although I felt kinda bad because I left the VHs all by themselves . . . but what could I do? I had friends there, and the table would hold all of us . . . so yeah. It was fun. We were talking about children and parents and their responsibilities to one another . . . Carly was kind of out of it and tired for the first half of the study, but she woke right up as soon as Dad started talking about mistakes that parents make. It was quite amusing.

After church, as always, Kelsey came up to me and said, “Can we go up to your room? Can we go up to your room??” I have NO clue why she finds my room so entertaining, but she asks me every week if we can go up . . . anyway, this week it was special because it got the best reaction I’ve ever gotten to that question: Carly saying, “You have a ROOM?? That’s AWESOME!!! Can I see it??” So we went up and looked at all my Lifehouse pictures hanging on the wall. Then Carly and Katrina had to leave, to get to Lifehouse and all that, although David stayed and talked to us for a while, then left when his family called him angrily, asking where he was.

Event #3: Sarah is NOT lame. The next Sunday, Sarah came to my church. As a result of this, I was accused (or so I’m told, I wasn’t there) by Megan of having a cult designed to draw people away from BOB. But anyway, Sarah came, and she enjoyed it . . . although the chairs gave her a bruise. Our chairs aren’t very nice.

After church, Sarah and I went over to Seth’s house and hung out and played SSBM all afternoon. It was a lot of fun. It actually was cut short because David and I had to practice for Event #4. But it was a lot of fun.

Event #4: David and I are almost lame . . . literally. So, due to David’s and my incredible physique and muscular prowess (or maybe the fact that we take a stage combat class and we’re her friends), Didi asked us to do a fight demonstration for two of her camps, one at the U of R, and one at Lifehouse. We did our half of the fight we did for the Broadway Expressions recital, plus a few other, more basic things . . . we did Around the World (a basic sword routine) really fast, and got quite a reaction . . . and we talked about flips and swords and knives . . . and showed them the awesome shirt-knife disarm that Josh invented a long time ago.

It was a lot of fun, but of course you always gotta have a few trouble kids . . . there was a young gentlemen in the U of R camp who raised his hand to ask a question, and when David called on him, he said, “Yeah, so speaking of swords, I was playing [Dungeons and Dragons] this one time, and I tried to throw a sword at the bad guy, and I ended up hurting myself, and he tried to throw . . . I don’t remember what he tried to throw, but it ended up killing one of his own guys. *laughs hysterically*” And the Lifehouse group was like the quietest camp I’ve ever seen . . . they had, like, two questions out of all thirty kids . . . it was crazy . . . no D&D stories, though, so it wasn’t all that bad.

I also did my Mark Twain thing for the Lifehouse camp, which was okay. They were a pretty tough crowd . . . if my eyebrow hadn’t fallen off halfway through, I wouldn’t have gotten any laughs at all. So remember, all you theater people: spirit gum is underrated. Medical tape doesn’t work nearly as well. Moe is also underrated. Because without her, I never would’ve gotten my wig on over all of my hair . . . but Moe was nice enough to pin my hair up for me so that the wig would fit over it. Yay Moe.

Event #5: The audience at the Bowl is lame. That very same day (Tuesday), there was a happening at the Bowl, as there always is on Tuesdays. Wayne had given the B&B cast off for the night, and David was going to the Bowl Happening with people, so I went along. The group was made up of David and me, Rachel, Carly, Katrina, and Megan. We brought bread and cheese and strawberries and sugar to eat instead of dinner, which we did.

At one point, Megan, Carly, and Rachel all went back to Megan’s house for juice (she lives about a five minute walk from the Bowl), and David went to buy more bread, so Katrina and I were sitting there alone. We were kind of grasping at strands of conversation for a while, then we heard a buzzing and decided that God was calling someone on their cell phone and enhancing the sound of the vibration so they’d be sure to notice. Not really sure where that came from, but it was cool.

It also became apparent that people should be careful when they make jokes, because you never know when one’s going to actually be true. For example, we always were kidding around with Carly about her “Winterfresh addiction,” because she chews it all the time. But now, after a trip to the dentist’s office, it apparently has had adverse effects on her: she has TMJ from chewing Winterfresh. So she was told by her dentist to stop chewing it. And in attempting to do this, she discovered that she is, in fact, addicted to it. It’s a tragic turn of events, and we all wish Carly well in her endeavor. I saw her last night, and she said that she’s down to a piece a day or so, which is considerable improvement (she had a pack-a-day habit before).

Anyway, the Bowl Happening was the winners of the RCMA Young Artist competition. They were all very good; my favorite was the flautist, while pretty much everyone else liked the violinist, who was amazing because he’s only like 10. But I still liked the flautist.

But the best part (and the part where the audience was lame) was in-between the musicians. Tim was the head stage-crew person, and Drew was his assistant. So every time they came out to change something, the six of us burst into wild cheering and applause, resulting in the first time I’ve ever successfully cracked the stage crew of a show. But the rest of the audience never joined in with us, which was lame.

Event #6: Josh continues to be lame. That Saturday, David and I volunteered at Tom Sawyer, and saw it again. (We also met Megan’s friend Sheena, who was also volunteering, and aside from having a freakin’ awesome name, she seemed really cool.) It was just as good as the first time, although they changed something that I didn’t really like (the scene in the beginning that happens twice, they changed it so that the second time is different, which bugged me). But we were in the front row this time, so we were much closer to the action.

Josh was lame because he still didn’t do a Southern accent (even though he was probably told not to), because he’d been bragging before about how well he could do a Southern accent. He was also lame because he didn’t burst out laughing in the middle of his scene, despite David sitting in the front row (and, I assume, trying to crack him).

Event #7: Sarah still isn’t lame. The next day, Sarah came to our church again. She’d come the last two weeks because the person she usually baby-sits at Trinity was in Chicago, so now, alas, she can’t come again for a while. But ah well. Anyway, she came again, and seemed to enjoy it again. AJ was also there this time, although he didn’t lead worship.

After church, Sarah and I again went to Seth’s and hung out, this time with Indy as well. There was company, celebrating Mr. Martin’s birthday, and also those of his mother and brother. This was also fun, because we got to hang out for pretty much the whole day. Fun times.

Event #8: My dad isn’t lame, either. Sunday just happened to also be my father’s birthday. More fun times there . . . after I came back from Seth’s, we ate cheesecake and Dad opened his presents. Mostly uninteresting stuff (to me, anyway). But yes. My present to him was actually still in the mail, so he didn’t get it until Thursday or so . . . but he seemed to like it when he did get it, so it was all good.

Event #9: My hair is lame. Okay, so Mom decided that I needed to get my hair cut. However, we were forbidden by Wayne and Sally of the Redlands Bowl to get our hair cut during the show, which means that I was breaking the rules. So I didn’t get the back cut, because that’s a lot more noticeable. But what happened was, they just cut the front, and they cut it shorter than I wanted it (although at the length Mom wanted it). I don’t really like it as it is, unfortunately, although I liked it before it got cut . . .

Event #10: Event titles with the word “lame” in them are lame. Because I can’t think of one for this last event. Last night, I went to see Tom Sawyer yet again with Rachel. She was late, so I spent a while talking to Aaron and Andrea before she got there. Eventually she DID show up, sunburned to a crisp and in serious pain. As a result of this, she winced when people hugged her, which was really sad.

Anyway, the show was great again, no surprise there. Rachel and I broke the rules and went backstage at intermission (because quite frankly, no one cares, except maybe Steve). Preston informed me that he was quitting life, Evan informed that I was a pokeable person (he actually knew my name, which surprised me, since I don’t think I’ve ever actually officially met him). In response to Event #9, Megan came up to me and, without even saying hi, asked me, “Why do you have a mullet?” *siiiiiiigh* The really sad part is, I can’t even deny it anymore . . . before, I didn’t really have one (despite what David will tell you), because it was long in the front, too, but not anymore. Alas.

And there you have it. My life for the past month. Let’s end with the following quote from Carly: “I LOVE the pie-eating contest!!!!”

Comments:

AJ: I WAS smiling . . . just not very much. And there is no such thing as a flattering picture of me. It just doesn’t work. And yeah . . . I completely forgot to mention Red. Alas. And I didn’t think I had to put a link in, since there’s a link to your blog on the side of the page anyway.

Rae: A comedy sports battle? What’s that? . . . And as I recall, you lost in the only game you played that night, so I wouldn’t be a’braggin’ about your R-P-S-I skills until you can prove them. >:-D

David: I’ve already responded to ALL of this comment in person, but for the value of other illiterate folks who may not know . . . “Momma in her kerchief and I in my cap” is a line from “The Night Before Christmas.” And forgive my lack of knowledge of the Eastern part of the world . . . but pretty much every oriental movie I’ve heard of has Chinese actors in it, whether it’s supposedly Chinese or Japanese.